Category Archives: 4th Quarter LIVing

Living authentically with a sense of urgency

what will they say?

What will “they” say?

In the end. What will “they” say?

i died on december 31st - rest in peace
the life you LEAD is the legacy you LEAVE

I mean. At your funeral, what will “they” say?

What is the real stuff about you that they will say?

Wow ! What a topic? This scares me just thinking about it?

Keep reading though. It’s worth it. (less than 3 minutes to go)

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

What will they say? In the end. Your end. 

where you there for those special moments?

Are you a little scared thinking about this?

This is where the sh** gets real.

Here’s the familiar scene. After your funeral service, when everyone is drinking punch. After the service where everyone has said what they thought they were suppose to say about you. You know, all of those overly polite comments that only highlight the best moments of your life.

But, 30 minutes after the service…

… after all of those very polite comments. There is a another scene. It’s a familiar scene, too.

Enter the church ladies with those delicious bite-sized ham and cheese sandwiches. While everyone is drinking punch and snacking from the cookie trays, you can hear the chatter. The real stuff. 

What will people REALLY say?

About you? About how they remember you?

What’s the real sh** they will say about you?

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

What will your children, your grandchildren, your friends say?

Your grandchildren may say, “I remember when grandpa … ?”

Your children will say, “Dad always made me feel … ?”


… your son whispers to his favorite uncle, “Dad was always playing a video game when I got home from school. And I really wanted to go in the backyard and play catch. I sure wish he had…”

Now YOU finish that sentence. 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

This chatter AFTER your funeral service… 

This is your REAL legacy.

Now that you know…

Today is the time to Man Up. And Woman Up.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

‘Cuz the life you lead is the legacy you leave. 

These comments are your REAL LEGACY. And none of it is about money. Nor your job title. Not your cool car.

Or the motor home, the lake house. Or working on the weekends.

Or working late on Friday nights.

were you working late on those special Friday nights?

This scares me just writing this. Because I’ve lived much of my life pursuing the wrong stuff.

If you knew what they were really going to say, would you want to hear it? Maybe not. Scary, huh?

If you knew what they are going to say, would you live today differently?

I know I would. 

If you could be there and hear the comments, you would be thinking, “I’m glad I did.” Or “I wish I had.”

Will you have more “I’m glad I did” thoughts?

Or will you have more “I wish I had” thoughts?

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Remember, the life you lead is the legacy you leave.

Someday you will say, “I wish I had.” Or “I’m glad I did.” 

Well, now that I have ruined your day. Keep reading. We’re almost done talking.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

What can you do today?

What can you do RIGHT NOW to change these discussions about “what they will say.”

where you there for those special moments?

These comments are your legacy. Not your career. Not the summer house and the boat.

Let me leave you with this one thought.

were you there for those crazy moments?

Remember all those things you said you were going to do.

You should go do them.

‘Cuz the life you lead is the legacy you leave. 

This is America’s Grumpiest Grandpa,

bringing you what you NEED to hear

not just what you WANT to hear. 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

time to change

time to change

start. or else you’ll be sorry. 

ya gotta start sometime. why not now?

yes, time to change – this is my 30-day story of change. this could be your story, too.
i’ll be transparent and authentic with you. promise. it’s a story about change. designed to help you. so experience with me the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.  the pain and the triumph of change. the struggle and the celebration. and the costs – personal and otherwise.

four failures every year 

i am powerless over my weight and my eating habits. 

this may feel like a 12-step meeting. because change – massive change. for me, i call it a change in mASS. mASSive change. this requires a different approach. an approach different from my past. because what i did in the past never worked for me.

did you know that the average person starts a new diet program and fails four (4) times per year? fails 4X per year. Ugh…

don’t you ever get sick and tired of being sick and tired?

so i know i need a support system. some accountability. and a proven system that works. as they say, “it works if ya work it.” 

my story of change starts like many other stories. later you can read the long version. if you like. at my story / your story.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

start. stop. fail again. repeat. 

have you ever gotten tired of this sequence? i have. deja vu all over again. start. stop. fail again. repeat. i have done this for many years. 

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start. stop. fail. again.

so i made a decision to change. and did not succeed the first time. just like you have. many times. start. stop. fail again. and repeat. 

another attempt. but this time the inner man was ready. i believed i could change by making the inner man and the outer man the same. making my inside match my outside. let’s see if this is true. i decided i am worth it.

change with me

now change with me. just insert your name every time i mention myself. see if this change fits you? it just might.

when you’re done reading this blogpost, read this. called “what if?” it’s about BIGGER CHANGES. read the background story. i can help you. hey, it’s a little long (words: 4,783). and cerebral (a 20 minute read). but it’s worth it. if ya like, come back. and click here later.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

so here’s week 01 of change 

> end of wEEk 01

changes are working

weight today: 239.4 pounds. down from 247.2 last wednesday, 2017/03/08. that’s down 7.8 pounds in just seven days. due to some significant lifestyle changes. in just one week. but it feels goods to have such a positive start. no fat boy pictures yet. i’m just too embarrassed (BMI = obese) and too proud to take and to post those revealing pictures. but i do have images of the bathrooms scales. 

I use a complete system. 

how am i doing this? i use a complete system that integrates lifestyle changes. nutritional changes. and internal changes. (i’m following some notes i made in a meeting with Lisa DeRosimo, M.D. – a specialist in obesity) keep reading. here’s a detailed explanation of my first week of change.

the significant and the challenging

(1) – coffee / my most obvious addiction

i drink (used to drink) a lot of coffee (a 40+ year habit) and always with cream and sugar. i have (used to have) a cup of coffee in my hands from 6:00 a.m. til 1:30 p.m. and always with cream and sugar in it. so i quit drinking hot coffee. and now i drink a little iced coffee with no additives. but no more hot coffee with cream and sugar. this was a big change. and really, really difficult.

the coffee with cream and sugar left my life. kicking and screaming. it was not pretty. with physical and emotional withdrawals. but this coffee beast was killing me.

(2) – eating in bed (and sleep hygiene) 

eating in bed (another nasty beast in my life) – i snack (used to snack -pretzels, crackers, and other junk food) in bed every night while watching useless mind-numbing netflix videos (zombies, house of cards, action thrillers, you know the drill). on my tablet.

now my snacks are dried fruits and nuts. and i eat much less. while i watch TEDTalks. or some other selected sermons/messages, motivational (example: eric thomas – the hip hop preacher) and educational vids and podcasts. but mainly ted talks (listening to innovative ideas presented by the thought leaders of the world). to feed my mind and to grow my intellect. no more useless consumption of violence and stories about evil villains and zombies.

this change from mental junk food to feeding my intellect has changed my thinking and my sleep significantly. my sleep seems better. i mean more restful. and my dreaming is pretty creative. this is a massive change inside of my brain.

so actually there are two significant changes here. (1) eliminating junk food at the worst possible time – at night and (2) consuming quality brain food every night. 

both changes improved my sleep hygiene. which is critical to any life changes. i am worth it. you are worth it. 

(3) – exercise

exercise – thanks to my daughter, libby, i have a fitbit. and i walk a minimum of 8,000 steps per day. i set my fitbit to buzz me at 10 minutes til the hour starting at 6:50 a.m. til 11:50 a.m.

putting one foot in front of another
just 8,000 steps

and i walk 1,000 steps each time. so by noon, i usually have walked 6,000 steps or more. now walking 8,000 to 10,000 steps per day is easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. it was a challenge to start since i had a total hip replacement recently. before my hip replacement i was forced to spend part of my day in bed – disabled. now walking is a pleasure. it is a treasure and a real treat to be vertically mobile. (according to my fitbit, i walked an average of 11,897 steps per day in the last 28 days.)

walking 8,000 to 10,000 steps per day is easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

(4) – internal changes

internal changes – i have made myself a priority. i’ve decided i am worth it. you are worth it,too. i’m in the 4th quarter (age 66) of my life. and decided to live the last quarter with some zest and enthusiasm. (swimming with sharks and base jumping and flying a kite and writing daily and playing tennis). i need mobility and energy to do all of that. and some more money. the internal change is my X-Factor.

see detoxify in four steps to simplify your life. which is part of my X-Factor. 

also. i called a friend, brad clements, every other day during this process. just to compare notes and to ask about my (M3 System) nutritional supplements. and what to do, and what not to do. i called brad to stay on track. i could not make drastic changes like this. alone. ya gotta have a support system. and i joined a facebook group as part of my support system. if you wanna change, join this change community here.

my change closet / just like superman 
my cHANGE closet

i start my day and finish my day inside my goal closet – change closet – prayer closet. reviewing my goals and my priorities. and my values. asking for wisdom, guidance and strength. my change goals and personal motivators are on poster boards. and all hidden behind my hanging clothes. this is significant. i’ll post a picture to give you an idea in case you want to create such a space for yourself.

warning about your change closet

if you do this (if you do create a change closet with goals and motivators), keep it private. ya don’t need da haters discouraging you from doing the right thing. just because it is different from what they believe. do not let their LIMITED thinking influence your UNlimited thinking. 

make yourself a priority…

…by paying attention to the inner game of your life.

yes, lesson learned this week. make yourself a priority. no one else will do it for you.

i am worth it. you are worth it. 

i believe you must care about yourself enough. enough to make yourself a priority. to make life changes.

have an intentional inner game 

Jedi Basic Training Camp

your inner game of life must match your outer game of life to succeed. you can work on your inner game and your outer game at the same time. but, for me, i needed to start on the internal game first.

and answer the questions what if? and (why?) in life.

but. please remember. you can work on your inner game and your outer game at the SAME TIME. no excuse not to start. no excuse to procrastinate.

to read more about the inner game of life, click the link here

the system – 3, 3 and 3 – you’ll see 

and i use a complete system that integrates lifestyle changes. and nutritional and supplement changes. here’s a link to the M3 system. or just the system. take 3. make 3. for 3. 

  • take (3) nutritional products.
  • make (3) lifestyle changes.
  • and do both for (3) months.

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> end of wEEk 02 

2017/03/18 – saturday – i’m excited. i bought some new clothes for da beach. as a reward for my next weigh-in. hope i reach my weight goal on wednesday. moving from double XXL to single XL – not dramatic. but this feels really, really good. for an old fat guy.

sad but real

sad but real. i did NOT meet my weight goal this week. and my new single XL shirt did NOT fit. so sad and disappointing. now on to  week 03.

here are my results. the scales do not lie. down from last week. but only 1.4#’s.

down from 250 #’s

let’s talk about the real issue with weight loss. the inner game of weight loss. for me. i call it hanger. the hangry beast. 

this will sound a lot like a 12-step meeting about food.

slay your hANGRY beast 

hanger: hungry + anger = hanger. habitual, meaningless, destructive, addictive eating used to satisfy unmet emotional needs. the villain is the drug of food. just the way some people use alcohol. and other drugs. but my drug of choice is food. and my battle is with the hanger beast.

which creates a “start-stop-fail-repeat” cycle of failure for me, the addictive eater. note: on average, most americans start and stop a diet plan 4 X per year. this creates a negative emotional environment around any new nutritional plan. each failed diet attempt reinforces all the previous failed attempts. 

i believe that most people need a clear, structured plan of change. and need a support system (similar to a 12-step program and other massive change programs) to succeed at a change in their eating and dietary habits. that’s why i’m writing my story. to help those of you who want to change. but have failed several times in the past. 

i have failed many times due to my hanger. due to my addictive eating habits. that’w why i’m writing about my hanger. to slay my hanger BEAST. to help you to slay your hanger BEAST. 

with my experience, i want to help you as your no nonsense common sense guide. for massive change. 

Daniel Jedi Squire in Training
slay the BEAST of hANGER
beware of the HANGRY beast 

sunday – this day could have been a mega failure. but i met and slayed my HANGRY BEAST on sunday.

2017/03/19 – sunday – going to a basketball tournament for my grandson, Ely. three games starting at 8:15 a.m. which means being at a basketball tournament. and away from a food friendly environment.

hangry moments

this day could have been a design for failure. for me in the past. a busy day, an emotional day (with a competitive basketball environment. and other annoying parents like me). a day when quality food was not conveniently located in the tournament facility. combined – these are all the reasons i needed to fail. and to create a “hangry mood” (and excuses) for me. so i can log another failure at weight management.

the result would be a loss of momentum. a negative attitude towards my personal goals. which would carry into monday and the rest of the week. you know the routine. two steps forward and three steps backwards. and more discouragement. and another failure in weight management. all logged and highlighted in the failure side of my brain. 

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hope-leSS and hope-leSS

you can see the pattern of failure that we create around weight loss. americans have four weight loss failures per year. after a few years, many people feel hopeleSS. and are very skeptical of one more attempt at weight loss. and become hopeleSS and helpleSS. 

the hangry beast

let’s dissect this day. early start (for a sunday – leaving at 6:00 a.m. to arrive early at the tournament per the coach’s instructions) with some odd times for breaks between games. and no real food at the tournament. only snack (junk, sugar) food for sale. so, in this environment, this is a design for failure for me. that is, eat lots of sugary snacks to feed my hunger cravings and all the nervous and mindless eating that accompanies the excitement of competition. and eating to satisfy the “hangry beast” inside of me.

potential downward spiral

then i start a tailspin into a bad eating day. and bad eating in the evening. which leads to anger and disappointment with self. which creates more negativity internally. which leads to hangry eating. and the charged emotions of a very competitive environment are not a healthy place for me. i’m sure someone reading this has some similar “hangry eating habits.”

i need a plan for this day

so. to survive i need a plan. i need an intentional plan in place. to eat well. to manage my hanger in advance. otherwise i will create a repeating cycle of two steps forward and three steps backwards. and this day will reinforce and magnify my weight loSS failures over the years. 

so i ate a healthy breakfast early. i took healthy snacks – a bag of apples, a bag of dried fruit, a nutritional drink (called SUSTAIN – part of my M3 System) which helps with those hangry moments. i felt so “at risk.” like i should call my “health sponsor.” as in a 12-step program. like AA. 

magic buLLet for the HANGRY BEAST

if you’re interested, here’s a link to my M3 System – my nutritional supplements.

and i located a healthy place to eat in advance (2 to 3 miles away – panera bread, of course).  so during a 2.5 hour break between games, my grandson, Ely, had a healthy meal and apples and dried fruit. and during the whole day, neither ely nor i ate any unhealthy sugary snacks.

almost a miracle

no “undisciplined hangry moments” during an emotionally charged day. no mindless consumption of unhealthy snacks, nor junk food lunch. this was another successful day. in my weight management program. my change project. and i stayed on track with my health goals. for me, this was almost a miracle.

control what you can

lesson learned. simple. i just controlled what i could control. by planning for the day in advance. and the result was a significant personal victory. i almost behaved like an adult would. taking responsibility for my own health. 

Every Win is an EPIC WIN
celebrate an EPIC WIN

so that was my advance plan. not very exciting for you. but very exciting for me. because it worked. on sunday. so maybe i will be able to wear the single XL clothes that i bought on saturday. (i bought some cool swim shorts and a matching beach shirt. in sizes single XL, not double XXL.)

not a big shift in weight. but a big shift emotionally. (and when people say, “Hey, are you losing some weight?” that just reinforces my EPIC WIN.) so maybe this week i will be able to wear some new clothes as a celebration. an EPIC WIN for me.

hopeless and helpless. and alone. 

hopeless. this is what could have happened. i avoided the self-sabotaging that has become my weight management pattern.

feeling drained and just grinding today
feeling hope-leSS and help-leSS. and alone

i did not sabotage my success with reckless eating. you know what i mean. I did not sabotage myself by having a bad sunday. then a bad monday. then a bad week by feeling hopeless and helpless. and promoting the “poor me. i can’t do this” syndrome.

four times per year – failure

one bad day can set me back by at least a week. or more. or this could have led to one more “start-stop-fail-repeat” sequence.  (did you know that the average person starts a new dieting program four – 4 – times per year?) that’s four failures per year.  every failure re-enforces the previous failure. that is agonizing emotionally. 

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> end of wEEk 03

2017/03/29 – wednesday – is the end of week 03

the suspense is intimidating. i do not know what my weight results will be. yet. for week 03. i do not cheat and step on the scales early. i just wait. i just wait for wednesday morning. and my scheduled meeting with the bathroom scales.

i cancelled thanksgiving
thanksgiving feast in march

i did have an event this week that presented a challenge. maybe you can relate. maybe you can learn. from my fears.

ultimate challenge 

this is the ONE Hangry Beast Event i have to report this week. my daughter’s birthday (lindsay) celebration. lindsay wanted to celebrate her birthday with the Traditional Thanksgiving Feast. a pretty exciting birthday wish.

with this feast comes…

  • mashed potatoes created with lots of whole milk and butter.
  • big fluffy rolls and more butter.
  • and some kind of cinnamon bread with a special sugary, cinnamon spread for the bread. just begging to be tasted out of curiosity.
  • some wonderful fruit salad (my favorite) made with marshmallows.
  • something else with a marshmallow topping.
  • and homemade gravy for the buttery mashed potatoes.
  • and a variety of sugary carbonated beverages.

this is like an “open bar” for the alcoholic. what to do? what to do?

and desserts always come with a feast like this. how many and what kinds? i lost count at five or six. home made and store bought desserts. they all looked good. no, they all looked awesome-licious. what to do? what to do?

and lindsay’s husband, raymond, slow roasted (smoked using apple wood chips)  two  turkeys in his big green egg . what a feast. 

with two March Madness basket ball games playing on the flat screen in the background. this created an ideal time for munching and grazing before and long after our giant feast.

perfect storm for failure

for me, this was like the main event in a boxing match. featuring the Inner Hangry Beast meets the Feast. creating the perfect storm for failure for me. my inner uncontrollable Hangry Beast. (i am powerless over this inner beast) could i tame the beast enough to survive this main event victorious? if i did not tame the beast, this could become one more failure in my cycle of “start-stop-fail again-repeat” series of diet failures. and sabotage all of my previous successes. and reinforce my 4 X per year failure habit.

would this be another epic loss for me? or an epic win?

sounds, smells and memories for potato-couching

with all the past memories and emotions of thanksgiving. with laughter, conversation, sports on the screen, and a table full of food and desserts. and all of the kitchen sounds. and smells. these are all sensory stimulations where i have been conditioned for over-eating. my body and my mind are now ready. they are pre-conditioned for massive eating. followed by lethargic potato-couching.

beating the hangry beast

but i had a plan…

i had a plan to meet and defeat my hangry beast. since i knew the hangry beast was sure to arrive to threaten me. i usually feel powerless over this beast.

the plan was simple. (1) first, i have a plan. for the day. attend the thanksgiving feast. with an intentional plan. and (2) do what i had done the previous two weeks. there’s no sense having a food relapse. eating is an addiction like any other addiction. so you must have a plan. especially when you know in advance that you will be a in a high risk environment. just like an “open bar” for the alcoholic.

meet da beast at da feast 
meet da beast

when you’re in a “high risk” environment, have a plan. in advance. you know you will meet your hangry beast. so be prepared to “meet da beast at da feast.” 

i did some very simple things. (1) i had one of my drinks crafted by modere. before the meal. to curb my appetite. and i snacked on sweet sugar snap peas before the meal instead of all the varieties of breads. (2) and i had decided exactly what i was going to eat. and what i would avoid eating. in advance. turkey. salad not drowning in salad dressing. no bread, butter, mashed potatoes, stuffing, nor desserts. just water to drink. no sugary, carbonated beverages. (3) result: all went well. as planned.

my hangry beast left in fear. vanquished. 

my hangry beast lost this battle. and conceded the victory to me. the beast left the party. vanquished. with his tail tucked between his legs. whimpering. the beast was so embarrassed by his epic defeat that he did not even stay to watch any March Madness basketball.

an epic defeat for the beast. and an epic win for me. and my plan. i actually felt victorious. and like i was in control. at least, for today. eating better. one day at a time. working my plan. and acknowledging that i am powerless over the Hangry Beast. powerless without a support system and a plan.  

focus on progress

and here is my pic for the end of week 03.

headed in the right direction

i now weigh 235.2 pounds. down from my original high of 250 pounds. and still working on “progress, not perfection” in the fitness arena of my life. trying to neutralize my internal hangry beast. 

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> end of wEEk 04

2017/04/05 – wednesday – is the end of my week 04

start – stop – quit – fail again – repeat
i’m don’t want to fail AGAIN

i do not want to keep repeating this endless, discouraging cycle.

even though i conquered my hangry beast more than once last week. i was still challenged by my hangry beast again this week. 

slow progress

the hangry beast did not die. he just retreated. and rested and came back with different tactics. and, again, i needed to admit that i am powerless against the hangry beast. if i don’t have a plan. and i am powerless if i don’t accept help.

ya gotta have a plan for the unusual, the out-of-routine times. like weekends. and for me, i do not want to allow one bad experience on a weekend to create another long term eating relapse.

having a plan for weekends is essential to success. and is essential to breaking the cycle. the cycle of start – stop – quit – fail again – repeat

this weekend i took my oldest grandson, ely, to his basketball tournament on sunday. a total of three games on sunday. and, of course, at the tournament, we had the usual selection of nonfood choices. candy and sugar. sugar and candy. nothing else.

so. in advance. i had packed yogurt, apples, dried fruit and two of my modere drinks. (click the link to learn more.) between game 1 and game 2, that worked well.

but between game 2 and game 3, one of the dads wanted to take the team to eat lunch together. and that created a problem for me about food choices. at the restaurant. that is, going to a restaurant not of my choice. and having limited food choices. unhealthy food choices.

but by drinking my Modere Afternoon Protein Shake – called Sustain during the late morning, i had curbed my appetite for lunch. i ordered less than what was normal for me. i requested a few adjustments (changing white bread to whole wheat bread) to what was on the restaurant menu. and no food relapse. no food cravings.

and no start – stop – quit – fail again

yes, my hangry beast did meet me at the restaurant. but the beast was vanquished because i had an intentional plan. in advance. and i had a short history of 3 weeks of victories. normally, this would have been an epic fail for me. followed by discouragement. depression. defeat.

and quitting again. only to repeat the pattern. and to start again at some time in the future. resulting in one more failure accumulated in my diet history. besides, i want to make lifestyle changes, not just another diet.

can you relate?

lessons learned again:

  • have a plan.
  • be intentional.
  • you already know what challenges you may face.
  • the challenges at a child / grandchild’s sporting event
  • the challenges eating at a restaurant
  • you know your hangry beast will not quit.
  • and (alone) i am powerless against my hangry beast.

powerless against my hangry beast. which makes my life unmanageable. with poor nutritional habits and repeated. weight loss. and weight gain. start – stop – quit – fail again – repeat. 

by the way, i carried my little black notebook. 

my little black notebook which serves as a defense when i face the hangry beast.

it’s a small notebook (modere – live clean) i carry in my backpack. with my laptop. which contains some notes about weight management. and about making lifestyle changes. and has some of my weight and lifestyle goals. it serves as a personal nutrition bible. a sort of little personal big book of lifestyle changes.

my little BLACK BIG bOOk

it’s a great reference for me. to read.

  • while i watch lucas at wrestling matches.
  • and ely at basketball tournaments.
  • and while i watch daniel at his swimming lessons.
  • and while drew, tristan, and vivaka and i are at panera bread together. and they’re eating double fudge brownies.

it’s a little “big book of change.” that reminds me of how powerless i am against my hangry beast. powerless WITHOUT  a plan. powerless WITHOUT help. 


everyone needs some help sometime

remember, i started writing this blogpost as a means to keep myself on track. but then some friends said they had the same struggles. and needed some help.

and i realized that you may benefit. you may identify with my personal weight struggles. and be encouraged by my successes. and failures. so i continue to  remain transparent and authentic, as ridiculous as some of my rambling may seem to you. i did promise to be transparent and authentic. so i hope this helps you.

please share with a friend. who struggles just like you and i struggle. 

let’s do this.

do you have a stretch goal? (a goal that challenges you – not too easy, not too hard. but does s-t-r-e-t-c-h you) what is it?

my stretch goal is to weigh 199 pounds by my birthday, june 22. down from 250 #’s. let’s do this. together.

what’s the value in reaching a weight goal?

what the real value in reaching a weight goal? 

empower – empower – empower

reaching a weight goal and making lifestyle changes can empower you in other areas of your life. if you’re like me, weight management may not be your only struggle. reaching a significant goal in one area of your life will empower to reach that career goal, that family goal, that vacation goal, that time freedom goal.

if ya really want this, no worries.

do not listen to your haters. your non supporters. they don’t matter. anymore.

epic wins

prove to your haters how wrong they are about you. with results. with epic wins.

there is no bigger epic win. than when someone says, “You look like you are losing some weight. You look good.” 

What Others Think No Longer Matters
if ya reaLLy want this

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

i would love to celebrate an epic win. 

on to my second month…

Children of ALL ages love to celebrate.
dhildren of ALL ages love to celebrate

> end of wEEk 05

2017/04/12 – wednesday – is the end of my week 05

i’m looking forward to week 05. seriously. i am learning some new habits that are effective in conquering my hangry beast. i wish for more dramatic results. everyone wants “microwavable results.” 

so here is where i must remind myself – and i will remind you – of the pledge. note: join the official M3 pledge commnuity – click here to join.

and click here to see the pledge [02:55] video.

my M3 pledge – i pledged to:

  • take 3
  • make 3 
  • for 3 

(1) take 3  nutritional supplements (modere) every day. (2) make 3 lifestyle changes. (3) do all of this for 3 months. BEFORE you judge the results.

because someday…

someday you will either say, “i’m glad i did.” or “i wish i had.”

at the end of 3 months, i want to say, “i’m glad i did.”

not “i wish i had.”

listen to your FitBit

my FitBit just said, “win the hour. get off your fat butt and walk.”

“win the hour. win the day.”

“win the day. win the week.” 

“win the week. win the month.” and so on and so on.

“win the hour. win the battle.” 

lesson: “focus on winning this hour only.” 

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< end of public blogpost >

private notes to author

distinct brand image
  • ok, end of week 01 looks good – send a mailchimp on tues, 2017/03/21 – tuesday – ya didn’t do it, ya mailchimp wimp
  • what is working – on facebook posting pic of my weight on bathroom scales – every week – with my special R/L ankle socks 
  • what is working – auto posting of fitbit results – daily.
  • need a dramatic branding (change) image in different sizes
  • ok, this – ripped abs – could be my branding image
  • but need an image of me in same pose – with skull scarf – or ruckus gas mask – where can i  find a dark background?
the look i want by june 2018
  • a feature image on wordpress – 730 x 330 (? – i think) – yes
  • create a brand image for change, weight loss AND much, much more
  • a brand image that represents change – external, internal
  • a brand image that is click bait and could be used by other team members – for the one voice brand impact 
  • a brand image that is resized and re-formatted
  • need a fb image – 1200×628 – to promote via facebook
  • and an image in 4X3 aspect ratio for facebook post
  • other images – images from phone – and edited via snapseed – bathroom scales and fat boy image
  • unique image of my fat body in above pose wearing skull scarf
notes in my liTTle BLACK big bOOk
  • images of notes in special modere notebook, bathroom scales, my “change closet,” and ely’s temple of pain
on left – the front cover of my black book
  • image of food choices and ingredients – like yogurt and sugar
  • discussion of geriatrics and bariatrics – there’s a reason geriatrics rhymes with bariactrics (the science of obesity)
  • and for the millennials, share this info with your overweigh, arthritic boomer parents
  • images of my inexpensive fitness tools, free weights, jump rope (with amazon affiliate link), $20 walmart walking shoes, skull scarf  for photo shoot
  • image of $5 badass skull ring for confidence (?) and badass-ness karma to protect you from da non-believers and haters as you change,
  • skull ring is your badass hater protector
  • ensure that every step in this plan is simple and duplicable and kinda fun
  • in other words, a busy single mother (like laurie) could do this from her phone. (bang, bang. jessie lee ward style.) calling all unicorns who are busy and overwhelmed single moms – who need a real life, who would like purple hair, pink, blue, green unicorn hair
  • supported by simple fb LIVE videos.
  • just do one (or more) to myself and lose the fear
  • start with week 01 story
  • pay attention to mr yoast. always. seo and readability
  • think YOASTy when creating fb LIVE videos 
  • think “what is user-friendly content for the distracted mobile viewer”
  • links to simple things on amazon (with affiliate link)
  • resuscitate my amazon affiliate status – why not?
  • so far (2017/04/03) i like how this is developing
  • but no one see it. yet.
  • i like how this has helped me. to maintain. to not quit. 
  • to maintain. and NOT to quit. this is critical. 

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branding image – maybe (?) 


you should GO DO THEM
< end of blogpost >

detoxify your life in 2017 with four simple steps

detoxify your life in 2017. with four simple steps.

detoxify your life in 2017. here they are.  four simple steps and just four minutes to read them.

4 steps to detoxify your life in 2017
detox your life in 2017

sometimes you need that special guide in your life who understands your problem and your fears. and you want this guide to tell you what to do to make some needed changes. hey, i’m that guy for the next four minutes. i’m the guy behind the mask.

how to detOx your life

  • de = delete toxic people.
  • t  = ten more minutes of exercise.
  • O = Original. become the Original you again.
  • x = the “X” factor that winners use.

detox | de = delete toxic people

detox by deleting toxic people. simple. but not easy. you will need to exit some of your toxic friends who bring that unwanted drama to your life.

delete the drama on facebook (and other social media). delete the crazy and loud friends on your social media. delete the crazy political rants and links and liked pages. this is directly within your control.

delete toxic friends. and delete people who do not support your value system. you don’t owe anything to them. you don’t have to listen to them.

love yourself. delete toxic friends. you’re worth it.

delete those people who take you to places you do not want to go. including physical places, bad places in your mind, emotional places. you get the idea. these toxic people are emotional black holes for you. delete them.

if your friends do not support your goals and core values, delete them. delete these toxic people from your life. simple, not easy.

delete toxic friends. this is within your control. and is a tremendous time-saver for you. this frees time for you. this creates some positive mental space for you.

detox | t = ten more minutes of exercise

add just ten minutes of exercise to your life every day. studies show this has health and emotional benefits.

I do this by using my fitbit. the alarm sounds 10 minutes before the hour every hour between 6:00 a.m. and noon. so I get more than “ten minutes more.” adding ten minutes of exercise every day detoxifies your physical body.

love yourself. add ten minutes of exercise. you’re worth it.

focus on the one thing - the process
add TEN minutes every day

a recent study showed “adding 10 minutes of mall-pace striding per day resulted in significantly improved heart strength and general fitness. then it becomes easier to increase your workout time and improve your physical fitness.

detOx | O = original. become the Original you again.

create the Original you again by creating some new habits and dropping those bad ones.

let’s start with your “fat” screen. I call it the “fat” screen (and not flat screen) because this “fat” screen is where you and your family get fat.

detoxify yourself from your addictive binges. to find the Original you, drop those bad habits. like your addictive Netflix binges (zombie movies, house of cards) and that NBA game. or call of duty, doom, or whatever game.

you sit in front of your “fat” screen, eat, binge, and train your children to do the same. we all do too much of this. time wasted in front of some electronic device. turning your mind and body into jello.

watch a few minutes (3:24) of fitless humans (Pixar wall-e). and see for yourself. what “fat” screens are doing to you.

  • love yourself enough.
  • love your children enough.
  • replace your “fat” screen binges with something worthy of you.
  • you’re worth it.

replace this “fat” screen time…

…with TEDTalks. something that will feed your mind and your soul. something that will challenge you.

I must ask you: what “zombie principle” (walking dead) have you used this week in your business or raising children?

start a habit of watching TEDTalks and some valuable documentaries on Netflix, amazon video, or other video service.

this is your choice to detoxify your brain. all within your direct control. simple, but not easy. but you’re reading this because you want to change. you want to re-discover you. the Original you. the Original you that your creator wants you to be. not some one else’s version of you created by your “fat” screen binges.

I understand the pain in changing. this is a painful change for me, too. i’m your guide, and your fellow journeyer – walking beside you.

your children and your grandchildren deserve a better you. and an Original you. you deserve this. you’re worth the change.

detoX | x = the “X” factor that winners use.

= the “X” factor.

detoxify the internal you by hiring a spiritual coach.

find a real hard-nosed spiritual trainer. a trainer that will not tolerate your whining. not a “comfort dog” spiritual trainer that promises you a safe place when you’re under stress. but someone who can move you forward spiritually.

hire a tough spiritual trainer

someone who has the courage (and someone you allow to) let you see the real you. allows you to feel the pain. and show you some ugly truths about your life.

love yourself. get the “X factor.”

you’re worth it.

if you really want to detoxify your life, you will find a spiritual trainer. this is the “X factor” that people at the top of their game have.

everyone that I respect is using this “X factor.”

and you can complement your “X factor” with a phone app that provides spiritual resources. and while you’re at it. delete some of those other time-wasting game apps on your phone. if you want to detoxify your life in 2017.

DETOX in 2017 with four simple steps.

  • DElete those toxic friends.
  • Ten more minutes of exercise every day.
  • Original. become the Original you again.
  • X factor.

get the “X factor.” detoxify your life in 2017.

remember, i’m your guide, not the ultimate expert. i’m with you on this journey. it’s simple. sometimes painful. but you can do it.

love yourself. detox in 2017.

you’re worth it.

tell me how it’s going for you in the comment section below.

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<< end of blogpost >>

real men still pray

did you know that real men still pray? 

Let me tell you a story about real men who pray.

It starts with a noon 12 step meeting. You know – AA, NA, and all of the other Addictions Anonymous.

i went to a 12 step meeting today. and…

the topic in the noon 12 step meeting was …

“How do I stay sane and sober in the middle of a crisis?”

This is a topic for discussion for the whole world today.

I put this topic on the table for discussion.
“How do I remain sober during a crisis ?”
If sobriety is not your personal challenge.
Maybe emotional sanity is your challenge.
Then how about …
“How do I remain SANE during a crisis ?”

Of course, when you put a topic like this on the table for discussion, people are quick to respond…

  • with advice,
  • with their personal “how-to” list.
  • and stories of their many struggles.
People share their current struggles and numerous family crises.
Immediately, you know that you are not alone in this world.
There is some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

you think you are alone.

Yes, you think you are alone.
But. You’re not.
Here’s the bottom line answer to your crisis.
Here’s the bottom line response to your cry for help.

yes real men still pray
yes. real men still pray.

at the meeting…

the overwhelming response was…

The overwhelming response from almost EVERYone was: prayer !!!
That’s right.
  • In a room full of different ages.
  • And many different cultures and languages.
  • In a room full of people – many who would never recommend a church.
  • But they did agree on one thing.
  • They agreed on one common solution to a crisis in their lives.
The overwhelming response was: prayer. 

my sad reality

My sad and shocking realization was … (Arrgh !)
It was…
It was that I need a crisis. To see something so simple. 
That I need to go to a 12 step meeting to refresh the connection with my God (or higher power – you pick the term that works for you).
That I need a crisis to bring me back to prayer.

my first choice, not my last resort

Some day – when I am more mature and grow wiser – maybe I will use prayer as my FIRST CHOICE .

without ceasing. never stop. yes.

Pray. Without ceasing.
And then follow your prayer with SANE actions.
  • Sometimes the best action is no action.
  • Just patience. Listen.
  • Patiently waiting for an answer. (I don’t do this very well.)
  • Create some “God Space” – (some quiet space for God to work)
  • Pray and wait patiently.
  • And spend less less time groveling and self-loathing.
  • Spend less time in meaningless activity that makes you feel good.
  • Click this link for some sanity using prayer. – Philippians 4: 6 – 9
  • At the bottom, ya gotta read these verses in Hawai’i Pidgin. It’s refreshing.

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here’s a sample of Hawai’i Pidgin
  • no worry bout notting.
  • god gonna make you hearts rest.
  • god gonna take care yoa hearts and yoa heads.
  • stay tight wit his Spesho Guy Jesus Christ. – philippians

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instead of worry, pray.

  • And don’t forget the actions.
  • Do the next right thing.
  • One foot in front of the other.
  • One step at a time.
  • One day at a time.
  • One right action at a time.

always 5 bars strong

Prayer is always 5 bars strong
prayer is always 5 bars strong

prayer. it’s free.

Always available.
Online 24/7…
  • No down time for maintenance and technical updates.
  • The wi-fi connection is always strong.
  • Always 5 bars strong.
  • Not a weak one bar signal.
  • No annoying disconnects.

get the unlimited data plan.

You don’t need to wait while your prayer app
  • downloads
  • updates and
  • installs.
  • And you don’t use any data from your mobile plan.
  • No annoying 2 year contracts.
  • Renew your prayer contract EVERY day. Your choice.
  • Get the FREE unlimited data plan.
  • Always 5 bars strong. Guaranteed. 

prayer. it’s free and easy.

That’s probably why I don’t use it often enough.
I want complicated and expensive. My way.
Why not try a simpler way?

yes. real men still pray.

in 12 step meetings.

and outside of 12 step meetings.


yes real men still pray

Real men still pray. 

How bout you?

Hawai‘i Pidgin version of Philippians 4:6 – 9
  • no worry bout notting.
  • god gonna make you hearts rest.
  • god gonna take care yoa hearts and yoa heads.
  • stay tight wit his Spesho Guy Jesus Christ.

Fo Da Philippi Peopo 4:6-9

Eh, no worry bout notting! Mo betta, everyting dat happen, pray bout um, an aks God fo do wateva you guys like him fo do. An same time, no foget tell him, “Mahalo plenny!”

Den, God goin make you guys hearts rest inside. Dat goin be mo betta den anybody can figga. God goin take care yoa hearts an yoa heads, cuz you guys stay tight wit his Spesho Guy Jesus Christ.

So den, tink bout all dese kine stuffs —

  • wateva stay true,
  • wateva get respeck,
  • wateva stay right,
  • wateva no stay pilau,
  • whoeva you get aloha fo,
  • wateva you talk good bout,
  • wateva da bestes kine,
  • weneva peopo can say, “Dass good!”

— tink everytime bout all dat kine stuff.

Everyting you guys wen learn from me, everyting I wen give you guys, everyting you wen see an hear wen I was wit you guys — go do um! Den, da God dat can make you guys hearts rest inside, he goin stay wit you guys.

<< end of blogpost >>

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Someday you will say…

Someday you will say…

I wish I had.

– or –

I’m glad I did.

Which one do you want it to be?

You get to choose.

You get to choose to…

…spend time with the ones you love. Or not.

friday worked late 404x404

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I need to share these thoughts with you, because…

…my father died this year. And my former wife, Joyce, died this year.

This is a new experience for me. Losing people so close to me.

And, maybe, this will help you.

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When this happens…

…you start thinking differently.

At least, I’m thinking differently.

About dad and Joyce.

About why we are on this earth.

And about how I want to be remembered.

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time with the ones who matter ver 2.0
one of dad’s favorite things

My father lived…

…a long and full life. Dad was a rock. And a leader. A leader by example and leading from the front. And an example of Christian living. With meaningful values.

Your son needs to see you lead - by example - from the front.

And, after a short illness at age 90, on his final night dad defiantly sat in his favorite recliner. He argued with the hospice staff about the hospice bed. Dad made it clear that he was not willing to use the oxygen nor the medications. Nor the hospice bed.

Dad even yelled at my sister-in-law, Cynthia. He has NEVER done that. Ever.

And dad died that night. Sitting in his recliner after he refused to get into the hospice bed, refused to use the oxygen tank and refused his medication.

Vicki Alvin Weiss Danica Spence ver 2.0
Victoria Ruth and Alvin Eddinger Weiss

I joked with my mother the next morning that dad had a scheduled “tee time” in heaven at 7:00 that morning with his favorite foursome, and he didn’t want to be late for that important 7:00 a.m. reservation.

This is probably pretty close to the truth. Dad didn’t want to keep his golf buddies waiting. And he was in charge. Not the hospice staff.

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Joyce’s situation was… 

…quite different.

Joyce’s situation was quite different. Unlike dad, Joyce died much too young. Joyce died too young after years of struggling with Alzheimer’s Disease.

With four children and six grandchildren, Joyce is missing all of the joys of being a grandparent.

Joyce should be enjoying this special time in life. 

Joyce is missed…

…and is missing the fun in that messy kitchen where she created such joy and laughter. Some call grandparenting the “sweet spot” of life. Sadly, Joyce has missed this joyous time in life. Through no fault of her own.

Have a meSSy Christmas. Just say NO to Pinterest-Perfect.
Joyce’s kitchen l00ked like this – except with more children in it

Joyce’s kitchen was always messy. And lots of fun. 

And that’s a good thing.

Joyce always let me know, “Life’s too short to have a clean kitchen.”

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Joyce is missed by…

Drew | Lucas | Tristan | Daniel | Vivaka | Ely
Drew | Lucas | Tristan | Daniel | Vivaka | Ely

…her children and grandchildren. Sisters and mother and cousins. And nieces and nephews. Missed by her husband, Earl. And a host of many friends. She was a high energy person who always brought a flurry of activity and joy to her surroundings.

Designing and creating crafts, baking cookies, delivering balloons, working in her garden, creating Ginger Bread houses, saying just the right things to encourage people, and hugging everything that could be hugged.

Joyce Elaine ver 2.0
Joyce and Lilly

Our backyard was always “the place to be” for the neighborhood children. Hot chocolate and brownies during the winter. And cold drinks, popsicles, and cookies during the summer. And some kind of water activity.

Whenever I came home, Joyce had at least 8 to 10 children in the yard or in the house. This was just normal for her.

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grandparents model loving behavior
I’m sure glad I did – how do you want to be remembered?

Friends and family have talked a lot about dad and Joyce since their passing.

*      *      *      *      *      *

As we review their lives…

I am consumed with…

…these two penetrating thoughts.

I wish I had.

– and –

I’m glad I did.

– and – a third question.

How do I want to be remembered?

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These are difficult thoughts to consider. But, once you do, you…

You realize that you want to be able to say, “I’m glad I did” more often than “I wish I had.”

The good news is…

During the times when I’m struggling with those “I wish I had” moments, I discover ways to create some more “I’m glad I did” moments.

How do you want to be remembered?

blooper moment 296 x 200
our crazy moments matter – they create memories

When I reflect on how my father and Joyce have impacted my life and the lives of many others, I recall all the good times and some of the challenging times.

And the memories of the triumphs and struggles that we shared.

At the end of this reflection, I turn to thoughts about…

How do I want to be remembered?

What memories am I creating today?

Am I creating “I’m glad I did” moments?

Or creating one of those “I wish I had” moments?

By focusing on the wrong priorities. Like too much time at the office.

Or being too focused on a neat kitchen.

Or by responding to the urgent (work) but not really important (family).

Or by not doing something.

Or by not saying something that needs to be said.

Someone once told me, “It’s the things that go unsaid that destroy relationships.” Creating some more of those “I wish I had” moments.

I’ve had too many “I wish I had” moments of “unsaid things” with both my father and Joyce. I wish I could change them all to “I’m glad I did” moments.

fun things to do with your kids
I’m really glad we did

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Legacy of Memories

We create our legacy everyday.

fun things for kids to do
dad and Joyce left a legacy of wonderful people

When we are creating our legacy, we can only leave a legacy of memories. That’s all. Not money. Not creating statues of financial monuments.

When people speak of dad and Joyce, they all talk about special moments and memories.

What memories are you creating? Today?

Both my dad and Joyce have left quite a legacy of memories.

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Dad and Joyce have both created…

…timeless legacies that remain and grow daily.

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They remind me of a quote…

Only one life to live and love.

‘Twill soon be past.

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

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chocolate bowl baby 400 x 300
“Life’s too short to have a clean kitchen” – Joyce

Their legacies are living and breathing through their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Every time I see and hear my children, I see their mother – right down to the messy kitchens and fun events and family traditions. And our annual Ginger Bread House event at church.

I am grateful. For all of the memories.

And even some of the messes.

I still have some “I wish I had” thoughts about dad and Joyce. And you may have some, too.

Even though, “I wish I had.”

I am grateful for every “I’m glad I did” moment we shared.

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join us

don’t miss any KooL stuFF. EVER.

you will be glad you did

Have a meSSy Christmas. Just say NO to Pinterest-Perfect.

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