Making Sense of the Senseless

Marley, Brodie, Bill? Why?

Are you trying to make sense of the senseless?

I am. Is this an appropriate time and place to talk about the “senseless” things that we experience in life ? I don’t really know. But – to heal – we must talk about this tragedy.

  • I don’t claim to understand the unthinkable.
  • I don’t claim to be a sage about mourning and healing.
  • I am just like you.
  • I’m a friend.
  • I’m confused and hurting and angry.
  • And I want some help trying to make sense of the senseless.

I’m just like you and I know that we need to mourn our recent tragedy. Even though I have no training nor expertise in mourning. Through experience, the process I use to mourn is to talk and write and to vent and rant. And PRAY for HEALING for the living. Yes, it’s very sad, but Marley and Brodie are in a safe and comfortable place.

I do not understand what happened.

Nor do I understand WHY.

I do NOT believe that I will EVER adequately understand this tragedy.

Nor do I want to believe that God in his/her wisdom allows bad things to happen. Right or wrong – that’s how I believe.

Healing Matters

When God gave man “free will,” I’m not sure that was such a wise decision. None of that really matters right now.

Kinds words heal and help. 

Only healing matters now. For Brittnee and family and friends.

And for this shocked and struggling community.

After a tragedy, people need to mourn and to seek spiritual health and to find some level of peace within a disastrous event. People need to grieve as individuals AND as a community.

And we will all do our mourning somewhat differently. I believe our mourning eventually leads to some healing. Eventually and slowly.

Like many others, I have lost sleep and cried about this tragedy. And then cried some more.

And I have second-guessed every contact with Bill. I have mentally reviewed every phone conversation, every text, and even reread every Facebook message I had with Bill. More than once.

Angry and Confused and Feeling Guilty

Right now most of my thoughts are in the “WTF” category !!!

I am angry and confused.

  • How can a GOOD God create such an EVIL world ?
  • How can people do the unthinkable ?
  • Why do good people do  such shitty things ?
  • Why do CHILDREN have to be VICTIMS ?
  • God, what were you thinking when you gave man “free will” ?
  • Why, God ? WTF ! I’m angry, confused. I just don’t understand.

And then the guilt. My guilt really hurts. It’s even painful.

  • Everybody is feeling guilt right now.
  • You’re asking, “What could I have done better or differently?”
  • Everyone feels as if they could have somehow avoided this disaster.
  • Was I available enough for a troubled soul to talk and heal ?
  • Apparently not.

And, of course, NO ANSWERS SATISFY ME. And what’s the point of seeking answers? What if I did find quality answers to my questions? If I found an answer, my next question to that answer would be, “But WHY ?”

Empty and Helpless

Last night I found some temporary relief in ONE answer. One thought I found was: “The next time I hear a CRY FOR HELP from someone – anyone – I will take it MUCH MORE SERIOUSLY.”

No one should SUFFER SUCH PAIN that they seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I learned I will spend more time in prayer to ask God to guide me with the right words for the next hurting soul.

Obviously, my level of wisdom was not adequate. Yours either.

No one could ease Bill’s hurting soul.

Of course, my answer feels pretty empty since it can not change the outcome of this tragedy. I hear many people expressing this emptiness and helplessness in different ways.

Maybe we should STOP asking WHY.

And START doing the WHAT.

Kinds words heal and help – Proverbs 15:4 (The Message) 

Kind actions heal and help as well. 

You can help Brodie and Marley Williams
You can help Brodie and Marley by providing funds to …

WHAT can we DO right now – today – for those living and struggling with pain and anger ? See the link at the bottom to help in a tangible way. Some friends have provided a way to help financially. Click here to help.

After living in the emptiness and helplessness for a few days and nights, I’m embracing (trying to embrace) the “WHAT” TO DO and giving the “WHY” back to my creator.

I’m INTENTIONALLY investing more time in the living –

  • my children,
  • my grandchildren,
  • my friends at Panera Bread,
  • the children in the church nursery at Casa de Paz, and
  • the parents at soccer practice.

And just because Bill’s life ended in a dark cloud of the unthinkable, I will NOT FORGET all of the GOOD that Bill did and all of the JOY that Bill brought to this world. This is an important part of my mourning process.

Yes, I feel confused.

  • I do feel frustrated with my helplessness.
  • I feel empty spiritually.
  • I am angry at the situation.

And I’m angry with my friend, Bill.

But I will leave the hating to somebody else. Marley and Brodie are in a safe and comfortable place now. I am sad but I find peace in the thought of Marley and Brodie’s safety.

The Bill That I Know

I WILL NOT FORGET all of the GOOD that Bill did and all of the JOY that Bill brought to this world. This is an important part of my mourning process for Bill, Brodie and Marley. And for all of the family and friends.

Bill Williams in work mode
Bill Williams in work mode

Business Bill

I first met Bill Williams in the lobby of a local Springfield, Missouri business. In  a short time Bill and I developed a strong working relationship and an even stronger friendship. Bill’s work ethic and integrity were exemplary. Bill was an intense person as an employee and manager.

Bill gave as much or more than what he demanded. We joked that we were both work addicts – when he called me at midnight and 3:00 a.m. while he was reviewing some files and had some questions.

On one extreme “snow/ice day” in Springfield, Bill left his home four hours early to arrive on time at the office where we had five people out of 250 able to get to work that day. Bill EARNED my RESPECT. Quickly.

You could ALWAYS DEPEND on Bill. Keeping commitments, delivering more than expected, and going the extra mile were all standard procedures for Bill.

Bill was professional, like-able and strived to mentor people around him.

Bill Williams as a dad

Daddy Bill

Bill’s Daddy Style was consistent in his real life with what you saw on Facebook.

Bill had fun evenings and weekends planned for his children. Bill was always sharing his “daddy joys” on Facebook and with friends. Few men enjoyed being a daddy and grandpa more than Bill Williams.

Bill loved …

  • camping OUTDOORS with his wife and children,
  • camping INDOORS with his children in his apartment, and
  • having fun and making GIANT KID MESSES with his children withOUT regard for keeping the house clean.

This was Bill’s Daddy Style.

Hurting Bill

Bill started hurting badly in November 2014. I remember the exact day – Nov 14 – Bill called after we had not spoken in a while. We talked on the phone four times that day.

Bill was struggling with divorce, child custody, time pressures, work challenges. It seemed like Bill was faced with an overwhelming tsunami of life issues.

Bill was immersed in a critical time of wondering what to do with the end of the 3rd quarter and the beginning of the 4th quarter of his life. And all of the emotional challenges that come with this period in life.

But Bill was sincerely SEEKING ANSWERS to make the next right decision. People who have struggled with this period in their lives can relate to the struggle and the pain.

Like everyone else, I was concerned for Bill’s safety. I requested that he remove all firearms from his residence, his car, or any place where he had access.

I NEVER FEARED for the lives of his children.

That’s NOT a consideration for a person like Bill.

I was so wrong.

Prayers Requested

Prayers for Marley, Brodie and Bill. And all family and friends. Now the family and friends need you and me to openly grieve with them. And cry with them.

We all need to heal.

Prayers for yourself too.

Please know that my thoughts are heartfelt. Maybe my words will help some of you. Maybe not.

If you wanna vent or express your thoughts, fell free below.

If you think this blogpost is SELF-SERVING, then just DELETE.

This is a LONG, LONG ROAD…

…to recovery and healing. For everyone.

You can help Brodie and Marley Williams
You can help Brodie and Marley Williams. And Brittnee. 

Kind words heal and help – Proverbs 15:4 (The Message) 

Kind actions heal and help as well. 

If you want to help in a TANGIBLE WAY with EXPENSES for Marley, Brodie, and to help Brittnee Williams; click the link here to contribute financially.

Any amount is acceptable, and you can contribute anonymously.

Wordz4U [006]

Be Cool or Be the Angry Fool.

Be cool or be an angry fool - Bobby Knight
Be cool or be the angry fool – Bobby Knight


… from a wise (not me) and seasoned parent and Sunday School teacher.

And I’ll say it for you in several different ways.

You pick the expression you WANT TO USE, and use it TODAY.

The first choice is MY CHOICE for today.

Because it just rolls off my tongue the easiest.

Be cool or act the fool.

Be patient. When you’re NOT COOL, you LOOK like a FOOL.

Be cool or be fool - Mark Cuban
Be cool or look the fool – Mark Cuban

Be Cool or Be the Angry Fool.

  • Be patient, or look the fool.
  • Be cool or act the fool.
  • Fools have short fuses.
  • Fools EXPLODE all too quickly.
  • But the wise QUIETLY shrug off insults.
  • A fool vents freely, but the WISE MAN keeps himself under control.
  • A fools shows ALL HIS ANGER, but the wise “stills” his feelings.
  • A fool lets it all hang out, but a sage QUIETLY mulls it over.
  • The RASH language of a fool CUTS and MAIMS.
  • But the words of the WISE HEAL.
  • Be patient.
  • Be CALMLY diligent.

References: Proverbs 12:16 – 18 

Proverbs 29:11 (from various versions)

My Personal Story

I have lived a life time of “losing my cool” due to my anger and lack of patience.

I can recall many embarrassing moments and regrets about my angry behavior. Angry moments as a coach and parent (and grandparent) and spouse.

Remember, your words can “cut and maim.” You do NOT get a second chance to “un-say” those hateful words or to “re-do” those regretful moments.

You can NOT “un-ring the bell.”

These angry moments are PERMANENT in the minds of the TARGETS OF YOU ANGER and impatience. Usually, the ones you love the most.

Be cool or be the angry fool - Mark Cuban
Be cool or be the angry fool – Mark Cuban

Questions for You | and Me ?

  • When is the last time you LOST YOUR COOL and looked like the fool ?
  • Do you know the TRIGGERS for losing your cool ?
  • Have you ever seen someone else lose their cool ?
  • How BAD did they look ?
  • How do you look when you lose your cool ?
  • How do others see you when you lose your cool ?


  • How do your CHILDREN see you ?
  • How does your SPOUSE see you ?
  • How do your CO-WORKERS see you ?


Ya gotta ask yourself, “Do I wanna change ?”

After your ACTIONS and WORDS have “MAIMED” someone, apologies do NOT HEAL the wounds.

Apologies are weak. 

CHANGE in YOUR ACTIONS is the only solution.

And the only CHANGES THAT MATTER are the changes you make.


CHANGES YOU MAKE TODAY. The only changes that matter. 

Wordz4U [004]

Here are Today’s Words For You …

… to read while you’re in the car line

  • at school,
  • at the bank or
  • at Panera Bread.

More on WISDOM – hmmm !!!

If you’re struggling with defining what wisdom is, don’t woRRy.

The whole world is. I’m STILL creating my personal WORKING DEFINITION of wisdom.

Here’s my best definition so far.

Wisdom is …

  • making good decisions by
  • applying relevant knowledge,
  • applying relevant experience, and
  • applying intuitive understanding and thinking.

Experience is my great teacher.

My OWN experience is a gOOd teacher.

But other people’s experience is a much beTTer and a much, MUCH CHEAPER teacher.

It’s just more COST EFFECTIVE to learn from other people’s experiences. And it involves LESS PAIN.

Let me tell you …

… about WISDOM using “Lady Wisdom” as a personality from Proverbs 8 in the Bible.

Listen to Lady Wisdom. Or else.

LADY WISDOM is SHOUTing. "Get some gOOd sense. Or else."
LADY WISDOM is SHOUTing. “Get some gOOd sense. Or else.

Lady Wisdom …

… is at the busiest intersection in your town.

Lady Wisdom is at First and Main Streets.

Lady Wisdom is …

  • at the “busiest intersections” in you life
  • available EVERYWHERE 
  • on your phone
  • could be as close as your favorite app (like Candy Crush)
  • shouting at you.

Listen to WISDOM.

  • Do NOT MISS any words.
  • Do NOT MISS one blogpost, one tweet, one update or one video from Lady Wisdom.
  • Lady Wisdom is SHOUTing.
  • Listen ! You fOOl ! You idiot !
  • Get some gOOd sense ! You blockheads !”

Warnings from LADY WISDOM

Ignore wisdom and the consequences are severe.

  • You will SQUANDER your life.
  • You will DAMAGE your soul.
  • When you ignore wisdom, you’re FLIRTING with DEATH.

Embrace wisdom AND

  • Become the most bleSSed.
  • Is there MONEY involved ? I don’t know. But …
  • Don’t SQUANDER your life – your PRECIOUS life.
  • The benefits are worth more than a BIG $alary.
  • More than even a VERY BIG $alary.
  • So choose wisdom’s life-disciplines OVER just chasing MONEY.

The returns (ROI) on wisdom EXCEED ANY IMAGINABLE BONUS.

Important links for you:



Wordz4U [003]

Here are today’s Wordz 4 U !!!

Better than FacebOOk surfing.

Words 4 U to READ while you’re in the CAR LINE

  • at school,
  • at your bank, and
  • at Panera Bread.

Treasure WISdom.

  • Do what wisdom tells you.
  • What’s wisdom ?
  • Wisdom is a combination of insight , relevant knowledge and experience, and intuitive thinking. What ?
  • Knowledge,
  • Experience, and
  • Intuitive thinking that is relevant.

So sEEk WISDOM from sources that have…  

  • relevant knowledge,
  • relevant experience, and
  • intuitive thinking.

Do what WiSdOm says and you’ll live weLL.

  • Wisdom is as precious as your EYEsight.
  • Protect it.
  • And write it on the back of you hands,
  • OR in EVERnote.
  • And put WISDOM in your SmArT phone.
When you find WISDOM, protect it like your EYEsight !!
When you find WISDOM, protect it like your EYEsight !!

Questions 4 U ?

  • What are YOUR sources for wisdom ?
  • Do YOUR sources have relevant knowledge, relevant experience, and perceptive insights ?
  • Do your sources have favorable results ?
  • What is the track record of your sources for wisdom ? 
  • Is it time to RECHECK and REthink your sources for wisdom ?

Once you find a source of wisdom …

  • Protect it.
  • Protect it like your EYEsight.
  • Treat WISDOM as a dear friend.
  • Write it on the back of your hands.
  • Put it in your smart phone.
  • Make notes of WISDOM in EVERnote.

Check these links for more CAR LINE reading.


Wordz4U [002]

Here are the Wordz4U to FOLLOW today.

Specially designed for reading while you’re in the car line

  • at school,
  • at the bank, and
  • at Panera Bread.

Learn a leSSon from the ANTS.

  • Look at the ant
  • Let the ant teach you a thing or two
  • All suMMer the ant stores fOOd for winter
  • At the harvest the ant stockpiles provisions
file your taxes early
How’s your focus and passion today ? Face your FEARS !!!

And what NOT TO DO …

  • Take a nap here and there.
  • Take a day off here and there.
  • Sit back and take it easy.
  • Play a video game.
  • Watch a NetFlix movie.

And what comes next ?

  • A dirt-poor life
  • Poverty

And QUESTIONS 4 U to ask today?

  • What can you learn from the ants today ?
  • What is your biggest time-waster ?
  • Video games ?
  • NetFlix ?
  • Facebook ?
  • Office gossip ?

Check your focus and your work habits.

Based on Proverbs 06 from YouVersion !!!

Go here too …

… for more car line reading.