what if ?

what if?

what if you had enough courage to make…

  • the right decisions?
  • those radical decisions?
  • those misunderstOOd decisions? 
  • that particularly unpopular decision? 

… and with zero fear about what others think of you?

What Others Think No Longer Matters
live by a miSSion statement that makes you fearleSS

what if you had enough courage to…

…to make those unpopular decisions. regardless.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you…

… put FIRST things FIRST? I mean really put first things first. 

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you chose a timeless miSSion statement (like the most important coMMandment) and lived by it? daily. every day. with no fear. just lived by a miSSion statement. and treated this miSSion like the core value of your life. regardless. living without fear.

and what if this core value defined you? and guided your decisions? ? ALL of your decisions? ALL decisions great and small.

could you be reaLLy free ?

what if this core value EVEN defined your business life ?

if you did this, could you be free? reaLLy free? internally free?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what about those annoying outcome goals?

or would you still be held hostage by your outcome goals? you know, those demanding corporate goals, and other outcome goals and expectations forced upon you.

those goals forced on your by your employer, your church, and yucky “guilt goals” imposed on you by your parents (or your inner parents). goals like you need to have a specific professional career defined by an advanced degree and a certain income.

let’s talk more about your outcome goals.

outcome goals DEMAND that you produce a specific number of widgets every hour. and widgets come in many shapes and sizes. widgets can be products, phone calls, number of words written, applications, sales, patient appointments. you get the idea.

outcome goals are what average people calls goals, but these goals feel like a noose progressively tightening around your neck. and make it difficult for your true spirit to breathe.

that is, the pressure of outcome goals makes it difficult to breathe. unless you have a clear mission statement and process goals. to guide your outcome goals.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

now a word about your process goals

coaching and process goals
guys, here’s the next play – the process

let’s look at a typical outcome goal. like a weight goal. how about taking a different path to weight loss. let’s use the “process goal” concept instead of focusing on an outcome goal. the process goal is a goal that allows (challenges) you to change.

for example, instead of focusing on weight loss (an outcome goal), how about focusing on a process goal that challenges you to change your relationship with food. and to change your relationship with your body. and challenges you to change your lifestyle.

and treat your body like you would a high performance auto. and care for it like it needs to last for a lifetime. focus on the process of self-care. but not weight loss.

eat to live. not …

instead of living to eat. let’s eat to live. instead of losing a specific number of pounds by this june. or by christmas. process goals challenge you to create a healthier lifestyle (physical and spiritual and emotional) with better health (a core value) as your criteria for all of your lifestyle habits. and this new core value encourages you to create new habits (new processes) that can be taught and caught by those you love – like your children. and grandchildren.

they will notice when you make some critical lifestyle changes. in fact, you may be surprised. your children (and grandchildren) will support and encourage you in your lifestyle changes.

instead of losing weight, start living today like your body and your spirit are connected. with a purpose. and your body is a reflection of your creator and your value system.  losing weight is about lifestyle, not just pounds. losing weight is about how much you value yourself. about showing respect for your body and for your creator.

and you do not need to weigh yourself every week. just create a process for a healthier lifestyle. and you can win everyday. and when you fail, you can restart everyday. your entire focus is on the process, not the outcome.

if you trust the process, you will achieve your outcome goals. and you may achieve even more than what you planned.

what if? 

you spent leSS time in front of the FAT scrEEn 

here’s a suggested lifestyle change.

process goals (guided by a miSSion statement) will allow you to create an exercise routine. and i challenge you to spend less time (or even better, zero time) in front of your flat screen.

it’s not a flat screen. it’s really a FAT screen.

i call it the “FAT scrEEn.” because that’s where you get FAT.

embrace your proceSS goals 

change and embrace your process goals.

and your process goals will embrace and change you. forever.

let’s say that again. change and embrace your process goals. and…

let your process goals embrace and change you. forever.

have you ever noticed how an outcome goal becomes LESS motivating the closer you come to achieving that goal. outcome goals lose their power and motivation once we reach the goal. and we quickly forget the process. how sad.

and you get to gain weight again. quickly.

because you just had an outcome goal, and not a process goal. 

what if ?

…if you changed your goal system?

…if you focused instead on a life miSSion statement? 

…if you did this, could you be free? reaLLy free? internally free?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

medicare insurance florida
are you held hostage by … ?

or are you held hostage by…? 

…goals that demand that you must reach a certain income, live in that prestigious zip code, and drive the right “status” vehicle, and earn your MBA degree before age 30?

and be sure to earn that MBA from the right university.

or could you live better with goals guided by a clear mission statement?

what is medicare
what if you lived (ALL of your life) by a miSSion statement?

i mean a miSSion statement (a core value) that defines how you choose and set goals. and guides you to create priorities to reach those goals.

a mission statement that is simple. a value statement that is this clear. that says the main rule is… ??? Click here.

could you honor your process goals? these process goals are the goals that drive you to get things done. your normal outcome goals just add pressure and often decrease your productivity. outcome goals often defeat their purpose (like earn that MBA degree to enhance your career while you study every night, gain weight and isolate from your growing family).

sounds counterproductive to me. destroy your body and lose your family – so you can earn an MBA. 

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

when outcome goals become our master

some outcome goals defeat their purpose with this added pressure. and defeat their purpose because of the shortcuts you take and the compromises you make to achieve your outcome goals.

in business, we are forced to sell more. regardless. damaging our brand image and brand equity while we take shortcuts. and tell half truths to clients. and become less transparent everyday.

look at the U.S. political system

look at the U.S. political system. the politician’s outcome goal is to be elected and re-elected. and to keep constituents happy. at any cost. and in the process, he/she compromises truth and transparency. loses integrity. all to achieve an outcome goal. this is what happens when you live without a clear mission statement.

what if ? 

what if you embraced the concept that you are a spiritual being on a journey? during your spiritual journey, you just happen to occupy a physical body?

and don’t worry. spiritual beings can enjoy great success with careers and family and cars and homes. but…

what if you decided to achieve everything using a clear mission statement. that you use as a litmus test to evaluate EVERY decision you make?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you always ask?

you always ask, “does this decision meet the criteria of my mission statement?” what if you always ask this question before you make a final decision. on ALL things GREAT and SMALL? 

  • if this new idea fits my core value, the decision is “yes.”
  • if not, the answer is “no.”

what if you decided to discover what is true about you? using proven standards?

what if you hired a spiritual guide to walk you through this process?

hire a spiritual guide ? what ? yes, i said “hire a spiritual guide.” 

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you focused on…

focus on the process
what if? you JUST focused on the proceSS?

… focused on this process? and not the outcome?

what if you focused on the process? and you focused on principles. and positive personal changes. what if you exercised some patience with this process?

quality, long-lasting changes don’t come after a few short microwavable actions. you won’t change 30-year habits with one 30-second (or 30 day) action.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you walked down the path leSS traveled? 

what is true
the path that your skeptics WILL criticize

and what if you entrusted the results of all of your goals to your creator? oh no. now we’re getting spiritual. and walking down a path less traveled. also called the “path uncomfortable.” the unpopular path. the path that your skeptics will criticize publicly. and LOUDLY. 

and know this. you will feel like you are walking alone sometimes.

but what about things that last. and maTTer?

what if you framed your entire life and career around concepts that last? and refused to accept any compromises?

this doesn’t mean that you stop working. and achieving.

it does mean as you change your attitude and approach towards tasks. then your value system changes.

and you leave the results to your creator.

yes, i just said, “let go. let god.” straight from my last 12-step meeting.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you focused on… 

Your son needs these things from his father
what if you focused on things that REALLY maTTer?

… on what really maTTers?

…like the 3 things your son nEEds from his father?

…BEFORE it’s too late. 

what if you focused on your “someday goals.” goals like. someday i’ll spend more time with my children. and then you may discover that your someday goals change.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if your “someday goals” change to …

your someday goals change to today’s goals and today’s realities. what if? instead of your normal 12 hour work day. you come home and re-introduce yourself to your sons. and throw the football in the back yard before supper. and wash dishes with your sons. and play CandyLand for 2 hours with your youngest son. what if?

daniel on motorcycle 400 x 300
what if you took him motorcycle shopping FOR NO REASON

grandpa, what if? what if you learned how to play CandyLand?

or learned how to play MineCraft with your 10-year-old grandson? 

what if? you started working on your spiritual goals. no, not more tasks and projects assigned by your church. you know, those tasks that go on your project list. goals assigned to you by your church. no, not another church project.

but what if your new focus were to become a spiritual guide to one guy. and, eventually, several guys. one at time. just like we saw this process in the bible. this process was very clearly outlined in the bible.

like 2 Timothy 2:2 in Hawai’i Pidgin.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if?

and what if you become the spiritual guide (the spiritual example) to the ones who matter most?

and what if you sought spiritual leadership? for yourself. and you hired a spiritual coach. (you already have a fitness coach) and what if you met with your spiritual coach once or twice a week? so you could both stay on track. what if?

i know if you’ve read this far, you are seriously considering changing. writing new core values. taking the road less traveled. the path uncomfortable.

i know you’re pausing here to think a little.  and doubt a little.

you’re challenging the sense of this whole thought.

i know you’re skeptical.

here’s a critical question.

if not now, then when?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you put FIRST… ?

what is medicare
what if you put FIRST things FIRST?

… put FIRST things FIRST? I mean really put first things first. 

now. pause.

think about it. first things first.

now look again at the man resting on the red question mark. it’s decision time. that’s you. what if? you reaLLy put first things first.

what if your spiritual life came first? really first. what if you did that? how would that look. you’re normally on your morning run at 6:00 a.m. BUT NOW you read something (anything – just to start) spiritual at 5:30 a.m. and now you’re processing and thinking and praying about this information while you’re running at 6:00 a.m.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you started this now? today.

and what if? at night you replaced all of your worthless late night NetfFlix time and gaming time (in front of your FAT scrEEn) with something worthwhile. like expanding your mind and watching several TEDTalks (ideas worth spreading) before you retire at night.

watching with you spouse and your children. encouraging new thinking. and creating new process goals. new habits.

from my experience, i can say, “WOW !!!” this is changing the way i think. and the quality of my sleep. and dreams.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if you changed. EVERYthing? 

how's your brand image
what if you changed your night time routine?

and you let these new ideas (from TEDTalks) process in your mind at night. instead of your steady diet of violence consumed every night via NetFlix. and other in-your-home violence providers.

what if you set a beTTer example?

what if? how would this change your sleep and dreams and thinking? and how would this change your sons and daughters by the example you are setting? what if you made these changes?

if not you, then who?

if not now, then when? 

what if you hired a spiritual coach…

  • to coerce you?
  • to persuade your?
  • to change your world?
  • to help you make these changes?
  • to embarrass you into some radical changes?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

why change now? because…

friday worked late 404x404
why change now? because …

… no one ever reminisces about the friday that they worked late!!! or the weekends that they worked. the dance recitals you missed. the soccer games, the swim meets, or the special days at school that you missed.

on the other hand? 

what if you don’t change? what if you choose NOT TO CHANGE. what if you continue to focus on only the outcome goals imposed by your business and church and your personal environment?

and what if you continue to binge on mindless t.v. time and gaming time at night? in front of your “Fat Screen.” what if you continue to destroy your mind and body?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

what if?

in 20 years …

what if? you make no changes. how will your life look. and feel. in 20 years from now?

i died on december 31st
someday goals – why not NOW ?


what scares you more?

is it the change?

or the results of no change? 

i am most afraid of no change.

it’s your move. you get to choose. 

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[ end of “what if ?”  blogpost ]

your readers are NOT readers. anymore. they’re scanners.

Your readers are scaNNers.

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore. Yep !! They ARE scaNNers.

readers are leaders
we USED TO BE readers

Watch your 11-year-old daughter or granddaughter. Does she really actually READ anything anymore? Except when required for school?

And. Then. Does she read her social studies assignment? Or just scan for the answers to the questions?

And whom do advertisers target? The 11-year-old mind? Yes. Advertisers target that 11-year-old ADD “ping – ponging” mind.

*    *    *    *    *    *

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore.

So if you think that your audience is patient enough to read your academic treatise – your weekly manifesto – that boring monthly email or newsletter.

You are so wrong.

If someone tells you that they read your blog (your important emails, your monthly newsletter) – every word – every time. They are being REALLY nice. Or they work for you. And are afraid to tell you what they think.

*    *    *    *    *    *

your readers are scanners
your readers are scroLLing and scaNNing

Your readers are scaNNers.

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore.

Take a quick trip with me right now. And…

…and travel with me to my Panera Bread at Lake Nona in Florida…

… and imagine you’re sitting here with me this morning at Panera Bread watching people arrive in our little neighborhood.

Watching all of them arrive. Watching…

  • the business people
  • people dressed for job interviews
  • moms with babies and strollers 
  • the early morning runners and walkers
  • the retired folks 
  • the students
  • those Bible Study Guys, and
  • the laptop and iPad people. 

What’s that in their hands?

No, not their car keys. It’s their mobile device. Usually their phone. And most are not talking on their phones when they come through the door. They are scroLLing and scaNNing. 

When they are standing in line alone, you see this. They are…

  • scrolling
  • quick pause
  • slight smile
  • scrolling some more
  • now a frown
  • continue scrolling
  • another smile 
  • tapping the screen
  • pinching the screen.

All done in 13 seconds or less. And then she places her order.

So you have just 13 seconds. To capture her attention. And to communicate “whatever.”

This is her mobile moment. This is your mobile moment.

Just 13 seconds. 

*    *    *    *    *    *

Consuming data. Constantly.

And mostly visual data. Some print. But mostly visual data. They just keep scroLLing. MoMMie scroLLers pushing baby stroLLers. This is your mobile audience.

(Detailed research to come soon in my next blogpost – ScaNNers – version 2.0 – featuring the Mobile Moment and Gamification)

Even grandma and grandpa sit down with their coffee and two strawberry pastries. And their matching iPads or android tablets.

your readers are scanners
great grandparents t00 – with mobile devices 

Oh no. Grandma and grandpa are scroLLers and scaNNers, too. 

I have conducted unofficial research with my friends at Panera Bread. And with grandchildren. Observing how they consume digital data.

And using an objective questionnaire while reading and after reading a blogpost. This research confirmed. They are scaNNers and scroLLers, and NOT READERS.

*    *    *    *    *    *

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore.

So don’t fight it.

If you write a blog, emails for your business, or that boring church newsletter.

Address the scaNNing and scroLLing generation. Embrace this new “reader.” And make your blog (email, newsletter) more readable, more scaNNable.

Have a Readability Plan 

Embrace this change…

  • with an “ease of reading” plan
  • and with great images
  • and white spaces
  • and page breaks
  • and bulleted lists

Use images that pop. First. First? Yes, first. 

focus on the process
use images with a CLEAR meSSage 

Use images that pop. AND STOP. Stop the eyes of your scaNNing reader. 

Headlines used to be the king of blogging. But not anymore. Images – not HEADlines – demand that I stop and read your headline. Images first. For your scanning reader.

images can pop AND STOP
images CAN pop. AND STOP

Images that pop AND STOP. And NOT those overused and “oh-so-traditional” dull and boring images that p00p, not pop (like two well-dressed business people in suits and ties – one white man and one black man – shaking hands – that is so 1980’s). I want to yawn just thinking about that picture.

*    *    *    *    *    *

Create clear topical headlines…

…that allow me to scan to an area that I want to read.

Insert INTENTional page breaks…

[ like this ]

[ six (6) colored and BOLDED and (centered) asterisks ]

[this concept thanks to my grandson, DREW]

*    *    *    *    *    *

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore.

So insert INTENTional page breaks…

…that allow me to stop reading. That gives me permission to take a break from reading. While I order my coffee and bagel with my favorite roasted vegetable medley (yum) cream cheese. And while I respond to that demanding (ping) notification on my tablet.

And then those same intentional page breaks create a “mental bookmark” in my mind’s eyes where I stopped scanning. And allow me to come back to your blogpost. To continue my scanning and “reading.”

Page breaks allow your words to breathe.

[Maybe we should rename this type of reading – screading / screaNNing (pronounced scr-EE-ning). Our new blogging word for 2016 – a mashup  of reading, scrolling and scanning.]

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reading takes you places
read-ability is eSSential

Readability is eSSential. 

Click this link to Ease of Reading. And use a tool like Yoast to teach you the discipline of intentional readability. To be readable, ya must score above an 80 on the Flesch Reading Ease Test. Ya gotta go to the link and read – not scan – “reading ease score” to understand this last sentence. 

A Concern about Too Many Images

Do images slow the loading time of your blog? And negatively affect your SEO and g00gle love.

Yes. So compress your images.

*    *    *    *    *    *

What should you do NOW?

Intentionally criticize this blog. In the comments below.

See if I practice what I preach. What changes would you make?

*    *    *    *    *    *

Info disclosure: This blogpost…

*    *    *    *    *    *

More info is coming.

The mobile moment is the heart and science of this discussion. And gamification and addiction to Candy Crush are critical to understanding the mobile moment.

Read the Mobile Mindshift. This book is a game changer for your organization. Buy it here.

Your readers are NOT readers. Anymore.

They are the Mobile moMMie scroLLers.

These Mobile moMMie scroLLers pushing giant baby stroLLers. (My Dr. Seuss moment) This is your target market. They buy stuff on their tablets from Amazon. While they’re running with their babies.

If you miss their mobile moment, you lose. You lose in business. And you lose in any other place where you are trying to get the attention of your “scroLLing and scaNNing reader.” Including your church email or your lengthy charity newsletter.

More info is coming. About your scanning reader and her mobile moment.

All of which will teach you how to keep your viewer engaged in this “New York City nano-second kinda world.”

*    *    *    *    *    *

angelina jolie 600x365 WP featured image
pay aTTention to what grandpa is saying

Stay connected to America’s GRUMPiest Grandpa. 

And now you can save some time…

…by just joining our ongoing party. Share your email address right here. Right now. Just do it, Ya know ya wanna hear more. From America’s GRUMPiest Grandpa. 

( grandpa will NOT spam you )

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 [ end of Your READers Are NOT READers ]

medicare – uugggh !!!

Life changes suck…

Yes, they do. ‘Cuz ya gotta make some tough decisions. And pretend that you’re an adult while you’re doing it.

And then ya gotta live with those decisions.

Do ya know what I mean?

Here’s my story. My Medicare Story – Part I. It’s a story about change.

Hey ! Maybe this is your story. Or your parents’ story.

[**note: see below.]

Here’s where my story begins… It begins  March of last year. When I’m gettin’ close to age 65. And BAMM !!! It happens.

*    *    *    *    *    *

what is medicare
now ya gotta make a decision

It is happening. 

I start getting all…

…all of this Medicare Mail. Yes, the Evil Medicare Mail –  2 to 3 to 4 pieces of unwanted mail per day. It’s just plain annoying.

Hey, I try to be nice. But it’s stuff like this annoying Medicare Mail that keeps America’s GRUMPiest Grandpa just plain grumpy.

So I have the best of intentions. I organize this mail and say to myself, “I’ll set a time to read it all. Make some notes. And then I can make a quality, informed decision.”

Yeah, right ! You already know what I did. I just stacked this mail. This stack of mail gets taller.  And taller. I get tired of looking at it. Then I throw it all into the trash.

Have you ever done this?

Then I do it again…

…I do it AGAIN the next week. I organize my mail (with the best of intentions). I stack my mail. The stack of mail gets taller. And…

I do this for one month. And then another month.

After several months of doing this. It’s now decision time.

Does this sound familiar to you? 
I mean – the procrastination part. 

*    *    *    *    *    *

medicare insurance florida
the monkeys get louder EVERY night 

My brain feels…

…like a cage full of drunken monkeys with all of their fearful friends. All because of this ONE UNMADE DECISION. They’re bouncing around in my head during the day. And at night. All night long. Chattering and laughing at my indecision. And entertaining themselves by throwing p00p.

Now I’m  dealing with a MONSTER unmade decision. That will affect me the rest of my life.

And there is…

…there is a real sense of urgency. Even panic. With time pressure and decision pressure. Exactly what I did NOT want to have. Indecision followed by pressure and panic. Followed by those laughing, taunting monkeys in my head. 

*    *    *    *    *    *

medicare insurance florida
help me please 

So I did what every self-respecting, procrastinating, fearful person does.

I made a decision without a lot of research. In panic mode. Just made a decision. To use one insurance (which one and why?) company for my Medicare.

Why did I choose this company? Because I checked with ONE person. And that’s the company she uses.

Simple. Decision made. BAMM !!! And off of my mind.

And all of those drunken monkeys (and their friends) went home. Where they belong.

Except for the ones that stayed and kept taunting me about my procrastination. And the haunting thought that maybe I made the wrong decision.

But this is not the end of the story.

*    *    *    *    *    *

You guessed it. It’s doesn’t end well for me. 

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Have you ever made one of these hasty decisions? After months of procrastination. Only to regret it later?

Yes. Life changes suck. 

But that’s not a reason to act out of fear. Or to procrastinate because of fear.

That’s not a good reason to make a decision without doing your homework.

*    *    *    *    *    *

what is medicare
got to be a BETTER way 

There’s got to be a better way to make these decisions. To relaunch your life. At any age.

There’s got to be a better way to reboot an old computer. Or an old guy.

*    *    *    *    *    *

This story is NOT finished. YET.

Stay tuned. This is part of a series. A journey. A story about the pain and agony of change. And some joy.

Or rather a story about how to… 

…how to relaunch yourself / reboot yourself / smarter and with  less pain and agony. And more joy. How to relaunch at any age.

Let’s rewrite your story. 

Because everyone loves a great story. And your story is gonna be one of those.

[**note: create anchor link. use anchor link to redirect from “putting the care back in Medicare dot com” to this blogpost. select the right place and right comments. and my brief medicare story. make the verbiage appropriate for the first contact. and include quick link to “ask Alvin about Medciare dot com” and ask Alvin Weiss @ gmail.com]

*    *    *    *    *    *

*    *    *    *    *    *

Someday you will say…

Someday you will say…

I wish I had.

– or –

I’m glad I did.

Which one do you want it to be?

You get to choose.

You get to choose to…

…spend time with the ones you love. Or not.

friday worked late 404x404

*      *      *      *      *      *

I need to share these thoughts with you, because…

…my father died this year. And my former wife, Joyce, died this year.

This is a new experience for me. Losing people so close to me.

And, maybe, this will help you.

*      *      *      *      *      *

When this happens…

…you start thinking differently.

At least, I’m thinking differently.

About dad and Joyce.

About why we are on this earth.

And about how I want to be remembered.

*      *      *      *      *      *

time with the ones who matter ver 2.0
one of dad’s favorite things

My father lived…

…a long and full life. Dad was a rock. And a leader. A leader by example and leading from the front. And an example of Christian living. With meaningful values.

Your son needs to see you lead - by example - from the front.

And, after a short illness at age 90, on his final night dad defiantly sat in his favorite recliner. He argued with the hospice staff about the hospice bed. Dad made it clear that he was not willing to use the oxygen nor the medications. Nor the hospice bed.

Dad even yelled at my sister-in-law, Cynthia. He has NEVER done that. Ever.

And dad died that night. Sitting in his recliner after he refused to get into the hospice bed, refused to use the oxygen tank and refused his medication.

Vicki Alvin Weiss Danica Spence ver 2.0
Victoria Ruth and Alvin Eddinger Weiss

I joked with my mother the next morning that dad had a scheduled “tee time” in heaven at 7:00 that morning with his favorite foursome, and he didn’t want to be late for that important 7:00 a.m. reservation.

This is probably pretty close to the truth. Dad didn’t want to keep his golf buddies waiting. And he was in charge. Not the hospice staff.

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Joyce’s situation was… 

…quite different.

Joyce’s situation was quite different. Unlike dad, Joyce died much too young. Joyce died too young after years of struggling with Alzheimer’s Disease.

With four children and six grandchildren, Joyce is missing all of the joys of being a grandparent.

Joyce should be enjoying this special time in life. 

Joyce is missed…

…and is missing the fun in that messy kitchen where she created such joy and laughter. Some call grandparenting the “sweet spot” of life. Sadly, Joyce has missed this joyous time in life. Through no fault of her own.

Have a meSSy Christmas. Just say NO to Pinterest-Perfect.
Joyce’s kitchen l00ked like this – except with more children in it

Joyce’s kitchen was always messy. And lots of fun. 

And that’s a good thing.

Joyce always let me know, “Life’s too short to have a clean kitchen.”

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Joyce is missed by…

Drew | Lucas | Tristan | Daniel | Vivaka | Ely
Drew | Lucas | Tristan | Daniel | Vivaka | Ely

…her children and grandchildren. Sisters and mother and cousins. And nieces and nephews. Missed by her husband, Earl. And a host of many friends. She was a high energy person who always brought a flurry of activity and joy to her surroundings.

Designing and creating crafts, baking cookies, delivering balloons, working in her garden, creating Ginger Bread houses, saying just the right things to encourage people, and hugging everything that could be hugged.

Joyce Elaine ver 2.0
Joyce and Lilly

Our backyard was always “the place to be” for the neighborhood children. Hot chocolate and brownies during the winter. And cold drinks, popsicles, and cookies during the summer. And some kind of water activity.

Whenever I came home, Joyce had at least 8 to 10 children in the yard or in the house. This was just normal for her.

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grandparents model loving behavior
I’m sure glad I did – how do you want to be remembered?

Friends and family have talked a lot about dad and Joyce since their passing.

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As we review their lives…

I am consumed with…

…these two penetrating thoughts.

I wish I had.

– and –

I’m glad I did.

– and – a third question.

How do I want to be remembered?

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These are difficult thoughts to consider. But, once you do, you…

You realize that you want to be able to say, “I’m glad I did” more often than “I wish I had.”

The good news is…

During the times when I’m struggling with those “I wish I had” moments, I discover ways to create some more “I’m glad I did” moments.

How do you want to be remembered?

blooper moment 296 x 200
our crazy moments matter – they create memories

When I reflect on how my father and Joyce have impacted my life and the lives of many others, I recall all the good times and some of the challenging times.

And the memories of the triumphs and struggles that we shared.

At the end of this reflection, I turn to thoughts about…

How do I want to be remembered?

What memories am I creating today?

Am I creating “I’m glad I did” moments?

Or creating one of those “I wish I had” moments?

By focusing on the wrong priorities. Like too much time at the office.

Or being too focused on a neat kitchen.

Or by responding to the urgent (work) but not really important (family).

Or by not doing something.

Or by not saying something that needs to be said.

Someone once told me, “It’s the things that go unsaid that destroy relationships.” Creating some more of those “I wish I had” moments.

I’ve had too many “I wish I had” moments of “unsaid things” with both my father and Joyce. I wish I could change them all to “I’m glad I did” moments.

fun things to do with your kids
I’m really glad we did

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Legacy of Memories

We create our legacy everyday.

fun things for kids to do
dad and Joyce left a legacy of wonderful people

When we are creating our legacy, we can only leave a legacy of memories. That’s all. Not money. Not creating statues of financial monuments.

When people speak of dad and Joyce, they all talk about special moments and memories.

What memories are you creating? Today?

Both my dad and Joyce have left quite a legacy of memories.

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Dad and Joyce have both created…

…timeless legacies that remain and grow daily.

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They remind me of a quote…

Only one life to live and love.

‘Twill soon be past.

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

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chocolate bowl baby 400 x 300
“Life’s too short to have a clean kitchen” – Joyce

Their legacies are living and breathing through their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Every time I see and hear my children, I see their mother – right down to the messy kitchens and fun events and family traditions. And our annual Ginger Bread House event at church.

I am grateful. For all of the memories.

And even some of the messes.

I still have some “I wish I had” thoughts about dad and Joyce. And you may have some, too.

Even though, “I wish I had.”

I am grateful for every “I’m glad I did” moment we shared.

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don’t miss any KooL stuFF. EVER.

you will be glad you did

Have a meSSy Christmas. Just say NO to Pinterest-Perfect.

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